To be saved does not depend on whether you've made a willful decision to make Jesus your savior, but it depends fully on whether or not God has made you a new man, and this new birth comes with a view of Christ as your savior.
This is what Jesus told Nicodemus when he visited Jesus. (John 3) The new birth is not something that is produced by our will, but by the will of God. This is supposed to be an amazing thing, but because it robs the man of control, man despise this truth.
But look at it this way, would you agree that all your efforts in trying to be good have failed? Isn't it hard not to become prideful and despise others when we overcome some of our sins? (I stopped watching porn, but you haven't, so I think I'm better than you and treat you with contempt) So why do we want salvation to be in our hands by reducing it to a human decision?
Also, this concept of salvation being just receiving Christ will make the sinner play a game of make belief. He knows his desires are not for God, but when he reads biblical descriptions of a new man, he will try to produce these characteristics. O how much suffering this will produce! These truths are not commandments, but for us to discern the state of our soul.
Here are some characteristics of the new man according to 1 John:
- The new man walks in the light(He is not afraid of his deeds being known by others)
- The new man admits and confesses his sins
- The new man does not live in sin
- The new man loves other Christians (in thought and in deed)
- The new man loves God and obeys his commandments
So what should we do if we are not born again? Seek God and take him at his word. He has promised that whoever seeks shall find, and whoever asks shall receive. (Matthew 7:8-12) God knows and desires to give you good gifts( such as the holy spirit and salvation) Be persistent in seeking God. Jacob laid hold of the angel until he was blessed(Genesis 32:24-30); The Canaanite women persisted after Jesus' initial refusal(Matthew 15:21-27). It might take some time, but God will save you if you are willing to come to Him.
*This post has been updated. Before it was called Truths about salvation: A new birth vs receiving Christ but receiving Christ is true and mentioned in John 1, it's just the misinterpretation of receiving Christ being just an act of the will is what is not true. Sorry about the confusion and mistake.