There was a time when I experienced the youthful angst of love. I read books and listened to sermons on honouring the woman and her father, how courtship is better than dating, and how a man should initiate the relationship. Looking back, I was thinking "if I do all these things then I will get the girl I like".
There was something odd about my mentality, perhaps I misunderstood the point of all those books and sermons, because my mindset about marriage wasn't under grace.
One day I watched a sermon on dating by Kevin Williams, and that opened my eyes to see the freedom God actually allows in this matter. (You can find it here)
The biblical model for dating is unpredictable. People found their wives/husbands in a variety of different ways: From waking up and finding your wife beside you (Adam), to winning a beauty pageant (Esther). Sometimes the man initiated, sometimes the woman advanced first (Ruth.), and sometimes a parent found the mate.(Isaac). Even all the stories of my married friends are different. Although there is a need to honour one another and our parents/guardians, doing so does not guarantee success. Bringing two people together is a work of God. Perhaps that's why Jesus says whatever God joins together, let no man separate.
Singleness is hard, but it's encouraging and freeing to know I don't have to find a wife by following a formula or jumping through hoops.
Perhaps I'm still ignorant in some areas regarding this topic, any feedback is much appreciated.
