Holding onto God's promise in real life

I read on a pastor's blog an observation. That when reading God's word, especially those super awesome exciting promises of the coming Kingdom, of a world with out pain, of eternal life and boundless hope, moments like those makes me feel like I'm already in paradise! But when I put down the bible and get back to real life, I am reminded of all the crap. Financial debt, broken family, constantly struggling with myself emotionally, struggling to love other people, struggling with critical attitude and bitterness towards some people... man, how does God's promises translate into real life? Why the disconnect?

Have mercy on me, for I am one of unclean heart and small faith

Yesterday I was reading Philipians 3 where Paul talks about how he suffered the loss of all things to make Christ his ultimate treasure.

Today as I went to Tim Hortons I saw an old man cursing at nobody by the library. I had the urge to go and talk to him, but was too afraid. My steps felt heavier and heavier as I walked away, head bowed low and trying not to look at him.

As I walked away, feeling guilty, I thought, man I know the gospel, and the old man needs to know God's love, it is my responsibility. Then I started to question myself, why am I afraid? I had to acknowledge the truth that I have not suffered the loss of all things. I still place my own reputation above the need for people to know God, the fear of being humiliated still overcomes my faith in God.

It was an humbling experience. I need God's mercy. I am one of small faith.