Let me embrace thee.

Today was a good reminder of what’s essential in life and what is not.

Character and my being is essential, what I do is not

Love is essential, obeying rules is not, ministry is not.

But grace does not contradict discipline.

Legalism has to do with motive and what our salvation is based upon, not all doing and following/obeying of rules is legalism. Or else Christ died for no purpose.

I want to be more like you my Lord and Savior. It is so hard to love like you, I need you to love like you. Please please help me. Let me be like the whore who wipes your feet, be like Peter who embraces you despite being a sinner and denying you.

Help me to abandon all for the purpose of knowing you, my life, my bread, my truth, my light, my way, my all.

Who is blind like the Lord's servant?

Just read Isaiah 42 again. Verses 19 and 20 are very sobering and profound.

I am near sighted and lack understanding.
My wisdom cannot solve the suffering and pain of this world.
haha, I already have enough trouble fighting against my own flesh.

As the Lord's servant, we are blind. We are deaf.
But the beautiful thing is that He uses the blind and deaf to accomplish His purposes.
That is glorious. I am at peace.

Joylessness

Where did all the joy go as people grow up?
As a child we enjoyed life.
When we grew up there seems to be less and less reason to smile and laugh, to have fun and enjoy life.

"So I hated life, for the work which had been done under the sun was grievous to me; because everything is futility and striving after wind."

This could not be a more accurate description of how I feel. School sucks, ministry sucks, life sucks, there is barely any time to spend with friends, I don't know how to have fun, and it's so damn discouraging not seeing people's lives transformed. Everything just sucks the life out of you.

Where did the joy go God?